Trilobite
by c0rin
Summary: Meet the Host Club's downfall.


Disclaimer: I do not own Ouran. (Please.)

Author's notes: My greatest fear.

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They surveyed the Host clubroom.

"Whoa. It's messy." Hikaru commented.

"It was fun." His twin answered.

Kyouya sighed as he checked his watch.

7:23. 7 minutes more and Haruhi should be here_. "Or else I'll triple her debt."_

This was all Tamaki Suoh's fault, the blond idiot, the self-proclaimed king, and the beloved otoosan. The shadow king's onyx-eyes scrutinized the room.

Great.

Food was everywhere and their personal belongings were all over the place.

"Okaasan!" a pajama-wearing Tamaki glomped his so called best friend, "Wasn't last night's sleepover fun?!" He asked happily, unmindful that Kyouya was minutes away from strangling him.

Huni-senpai skipped around the room with his bun-bun. He fingered a blue cloth.

"Don't touch that." His cousin warned.

"Takashi! It's only a napkin!" the lolishota answered, smiling at the tall, dark and handsome senior. "I'm going to eat more cake!"

"Tamaki." Kyouya removed the hand wrapped around his black pajama top and pushed the Host club king, "Will you please get off me? Haruhi's due to arrive any minute and help us clean. Why couldn't we just hire janitors? It's not like your school doesn't have any." He told the blond sarcastically.

"Okaasan!" The blond gasped! "What fun is a sleepover if other's will clean after us! The family that cleans together stays together!"

"Tono. What kind of perverted logic is that?" The twins chorused, looking devilish in their checkered red and black pajamas.

Their king whipped out a white, frilly apron from out of nowhere and pranced around the room waving the said material. "My daughter shall have to wear this! It is daddy's wish that she wear proper clothes for cleaning!"

The shadow king's glasses glinted evilly in the sunlight. He wrote something down in his black journal.

"He is the worse." The twins whispered to each other.

"Kawaii! Haru-chan will look kawaii in that apron!" Huni-senpai said as cake fell down his pink shirt and shorts. Mori wiped the icing away with a tissue.

All of a sudden, Huni pushed the dark senior away and climbed up the table.

"What is it?" His cousin suddenly looked alert.

The lolishota's brown eyes watered. "I saw something brown and hairy!"

"Nani?!!" Hikaru exclaimed, immediately pulling his brother closer to his body.

Tamaki laughed, "I'm sure it's just your imagination, Huni-senpai, we weren't able to slee—AAHHHH!" the blond gave a shout before running toward the sofa. He climbed on the top. "Okaasan! Something climbed on my foot! Come quick! Get away from there!!"

"What is it?!" The two red-heads looked scared. "What is it?!"

"Is it one of Neko-senpai's cats?!" Kaoru asked, searching the floor from his position above a chair, Hikaru beside him.

The shadow king looked around the 3rd music room. He saw nothing. "Come now, let us not be paranoid. I'm sure it's just a cat or a puppy."

"Ah." Mori-senpai agreed.

Tamaki gave a sigh of relief. "Sou ka! It must be a furry animal!" He said as everybody else climbed down and walked near Kyouya's position.

"It isn't! It's big and mean and ugly!" Huni said fearfully. "I've never seen anything like it before!"

"What is it?" His cousin asked quietly.

"A creature! A big insect! It's not furry at all!" the cute senior answered as he climbed his cousin's shoulder looking terrified.

Hikaru clung to his brother, "I've never seen Huni-senpai looked so bothered." He whispered.

Kaoru didn't answer.

"Kaoru?" Hikaru faced his twin, "Kaoru."

He felt his twin freeze. "Oi! Kaoru!" he called the person staring at the floor in front of them. "Are you even listening to m—" His eyes went wide. _"What the hell is that?!"_

Before anyone understood what was happening, Kaoru Hitaachiin opened his mouth and gave a scream worthy of Renge's "Moeeeeeeee!!!!.

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!! Save me! Save me! Hikaru!"

"What the hell?" Kyouya muttered as the younger twin completely lost his head.

"Nani?! Nani?! Nani?!" The king asked, looking around in terror, "What is i---AAAAAAAAHHHHH!!!! MOMMY!!!!" He wailed as he ran towards the shadow king and hit him directly in the face with his waving arms.

"DAMN IT TAMAKI! CALM DOWN!"

"KAORU! RUN! RUN! IT's coming after us!" Hikaru pulled his brother who stood frozen in fright.

Mitzukuni Haninozuka cried pitifully as his cousin moved as far away from the creature as possible.

"Takashi, it's coming after us!" He whimpered, completely hallucinating.

"Ah." His cousin answered as he tried to unsuccessfully push the 3rd music room open.

Kyouya bend down to look for his glasses his idiot of a friend hit and insanely threw away.

He kneeled and found himself face to face with a bug. A brown, scary looking insect. He shivered. It had two antennas and an oblong shaped body. But what "worried" Kyouya the most was the creatures 6 legs.

He had never seen anything like it, the legs looked mean and hairy. As if you'd be infected with an unknown, incurable disease once one of its leg touches even the tip of your fingernail. The brunet hurried to stand up. He backed away and "walked fast" near the door and beside Tamaki.

"Kyouya-senpai! What is it?!" Hikaru asked as he dragged the still frozen Kaoru near the exit door.

"Okaasan! How do we kill it?! I'm too young to die! That, that, **that** thing must carry a virus! What if we all get aids!? I won't be able to see my beloved daughter again! Daddy wants to see Haruhi on her wedding day!" Tamaki sobbed pathetically, tears clinging on his eyelashes, his lavender eyes turning purple with so much emotion.

"Waaaahhh!!! Takashi! I don't want aids!!" Mitzukuni pushed the door in despair. It didn't open. He kicked it madly. "I don't want aids!"

Hikaru banged on the wooden door, "Anyone! Please! If anyone out there can hear us! Help! Help!"

Kyouya gave a little cough as everyone turned to look at him wearing a _"what shall we do?"_ expression on their faces, "I have never seen anything like it before." He admitted ruefully.

They all blinked at him.

"Never?" Tamaki asked.

"Before?" Hikaru added as he cradled his younger twin on his chest.

"What shall we do?" Huni-senpai asked, looking determined.

"Fight." Takashi answered him, "Try to kill it with whatever possible weapon you can find."

"Hikaru…" Kaoru gave a feeble cough; "Don't worry about me, save yourself. I'll be fine." he touched his brother's unblemished face. "I'll be fine."

The said twin hugged him closer, "No. No, Kaoru, I won't leave you. We're in this together! No matter what happens!" He cried as his free hand grabbed the nearest thing it could touch and threw it at the insect.

Everybody watched as the brown bug dodged the black PSP with ease and flew towards them, landing beside a piece of unfinished cake near the door.

It eyed them, its black beady eyes unblinking, its long, brown, hairy legs touching the icing on the cake.

They all froze in fear.

Kyouya tried to see if anyone has a cellphone.

No one. None. Nada. Nothing.

Their Host Club King sobbed noisily, tugging on the shadow king's pajama top.

"For the love of God Tamaki, I'm trying to focus here! Stop that crying!" The usually calm Kyouya Ohtori shouted almost maniacally.

"Datte, Kyouya!" The blond pointed to the left side of the 3rd music room door. "The creature has brought a minion! The creature has brought a minion!" Everybody turned their heads toward the place, "We are doomed! We'll never make it through! I shouldn't have suggested a sleepover! It's my entire fault! I killed us all! Oh Kyouya! Minna! I'm sorry! I'm so sorry! If we ever make it out of this, I promise to never suggest such idiotic things ever again!" Tamaki blubbered.

A kunai swished along side the king's head.

He gaped. Huni-senpai started throwing kunai's randomly, hitting _everything_ but the creepy creatures.

"Huni-senpia no! That's a shuriken!"

Takashi charged near the second bug and tried to slice it with a katana. The pest didn't even flinch; it fluttered its brown wings and flew straight toward the Host Club King.

Tamaki panicked and pulled Kyouya in front of him to shield him from the creepy-crawler.

The shadow king threw the unthinkable and launched his notebook at the insect. Then examined the extent of damaged to the floor Mori-senpai slashed. _"We need to raise funds for that. I need a new notebook."_

Huni screamed, "It hit me in the face! It flew in my face! Takashi! I'm infected!"

"No." Mori said as he kicked the entrance.

"Kaoru! Stay with me!"

"Kyouya. I want to thank you for being a very good friend to me, I will never forget you, if I die today, and I want you to have my piano. Consider it as my last gift to you, my beloved best friend." Tamaki sobbed on Kyouya's arm.

"Shut up. I can't concentrate."

Everybody pushed the 3rd music room door as the two brown bugs moved closer to them.

"Why isn't it opening?!" Tamaki asked as he gave all his strength to push the door.

They were slowly losing hope.

"Pull." Kaoru whispered.

The room went quiet.

The two brown bugs watched them.

"_Oh."_

_That's right, you pull it open from the inside._

"On the count of three!" Kyouya commanded. "One, two, three! Ike!"

BAM!

The sound echoed as the door opened and the club members piled outside.

Mori closed the door and immediately faced his cousin. "Mitzukuni. Hospital."

"Are? Minna, why are you all on the floor?" A certain brown-haired, brown-eyed _girl _asked the people who were sitting on the floor panting.

Mori and Kyouya were the only two standing.

"Haruhi! My beautiful daughter! Daddy has been threatened! Mommy saved me!" Tamaki rushed toward the poor girl and buried his face on her head. "We almost died!"

"_Saved? You used me as a shield." _The shadow king resisted the urge to body slam the blond idiot.

She turned away from him. "Yare, yare." She touched the knob of the Host clubroom door.

The twins and Huni stopped her!

"Haruhi no!!!" Tamaki wailed, "There's something inside! It's poisonous!"

"Haru-chan! Haru-chan! It hit me in the face! I'm dying! I'm not cute anymore!"

She turned the knob and opened the door. Then stared shock.

Her eyes scanned through the kunai's, the broken katana, the 50 or so shuriken on every part of the music room. Not to mention the broken PSP and the mess her co-hosts made.

"_Why is the floor cracked?!"_

"Nani? What did you—are?" She halted as she spied the bugs on the floor. Her foot took a step forward.

"Haruhi NOOOOO!!!!!" the twins and Tamaki screamed in pure terror.

SQUISH.

Kyouya blinked, and just like that and the bug was flattened to the floor. Brown liquid spurted out of its body.

"Why is there a cockroach here?" She asked them.

"Cockroach?"

"Is that what it is?"

Haruhi removed her shoe and to the Host Club member's amazement, she raised her arm and threw the footwear like a pro.

It killed the second bug in a second.

"Ha—ha—haruhi…" The blond squeaked.

She rolled her eyes.

"_Mother in heaven."_

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End file.
